The Past, the regrets.

Alright, here it goes.  There have been times in SL , I regret certain actions...put up defenses when really, there shouldn't be any. This was one of many.  Let's start at the beginning.

Like with Real Life, everyone has their ups, their down, their tragedies that do happen in SecondLife. Well, I experienced that when a close friend decided to partner with someone....not that I could blame her , I was/am not available in the RL ...so I supported her fully. That of course, Did not make the pain any less . I decided I needed a break from SL. So I made up a note card , said goodbye to all my friends, even cleared out my profile ...so for all intents and purposes , Enn was gone. Gone from the pain, just....gone.

Anyone who plays SL, knows how addictive it could be , so it wasn't long before I started sneaking back into Sl...but how do I explain the " See you later ??" Besides, I really didn't like who Enn was becoming , just another playboy with digi-sex on his mind.

So I created  a  new life.,  a new account . " No Man " was birthed from my desire to really get back to basics , how I first started out in Sl...a hero , a goofy Canadian guy who enjoyed making people laugh.

I decided to do things a bit differently at first, I wanted No Man , at least for a little while, remain in  character , through out all interactions. I promptly headed off the the only place I ever called home.
Aftermath 2 , the sim with the quirky people like myself, where spandex and comic book talk were second nature. Hell, the only reason I joined SL was because you could FLY .

Ok...so there I am in AM2 , being No Man, the new guy on the block. It wasn't long that the urge to become involved in the sim, (financially , and as a partner , helping them out in what ever they need.)grew to whereI felt it needed to take action. I set up a meeting with AUS , EL , and Jingah..current partners in the Sim. There was also a Partner there, unknown to me , but it was cool.

During our talk about me becoming an active roll in AM2 the question was asked that would ultimately change my SL forever...." Have you had any previous involvement in AM2? Like in another account ?" ( forgive me if its not written verbatim , it was quite some time ago ) Feeling I didn't want to " out " myself  to this person I didn't know , I denied any previous involvement in AM2.
I did have full intention to tell EL, AUS and Jingah who I was within the next day or two. In retrospect, this whole mess could have been avoided if I IM'd even one of them to say , " Yes, I am Enn but I don't wish it to be public knowledge that I am him . "

Flash to the next day , I start to hang with some people known to be tight with Enn and it's noticed. AUS approached me , and I don't know exactly what happened, but I felt threatened. Why would I ? I don't know , honestly , AUS had been a friend for years ..true , not a close friend , but one I called a friend anyways. So I denied, denied and denied again , all the while stirring a big pot of shit that ultimately cost me the place I thought of as a safe haven and some of the friendships I had for years .

I doubt anyone will see this , but let me own my mistakes .

AUS Ninetails : You are a good man . I respect you , always have and to this day, always will. In retrospect, ( ya I know I have used this word already ) I should have been clean with you. I apologise.

ElusiveButterfly Ember : without a doubt, my biggest regret. El, there is one other in SL to whom I was as close to . It hurts that I hurt you . Even in the months that followed, I did not see my error and have lashed out . I grieve the loss of contact, you are a brilliant woman , your heart is shown in every turn . I see now what you have tried telling me.

Jingah Ling : My fellow countryman , and builder extraordinaire. You were my first friend here in SL. I remember the day I met you. I was anly a day into my journey and I typed in " comic " into the search which lead me to you and the Hall of Justice. You helped me that day, hooking me up with stuff, ao's ..ect.  An example I still follow today, helping noobies and hoping they will in time, pay it forward.

Merrie Sweetwater : My words escape me , in my anger I lashed out at you in a way I should have NEVER done, I attacked your faith. Do I have an excuse? No.. Was it deplorable? Absolutely. I pray for your forgiveness.

And for the rest of AM2 : Rey, Kara, and many others. I am sorry , I did not intentionally set out to hurt any of you.

So why now? Why do I bare my sins against my friends? Is it so they will read this and forgive me?  On the surface, some will say " Ya, Enn is just trying to get back in " . No. Tomorrow marks Four years in SL as Enn

God Speed all you hero's out there in SL.